Why Your Confidence Is Fading (And It Might Not Be What You Think)
Feb 18, 2026
I still remember the moment I closed the files. They were sitting there on my desktop. Documents, notes, drafts, spreadsheets, years of work tied to one meaningful vision. I thought I’d come back to it soon. But I didn’t. That dream slowly faded into a folder, not because it was wrong, but because I was carrying it alone.
And that part took me years to understand.
You may have felt something similar. You have an idea, a course, a next step in your work. You care deeply about it. But the resistance feels heavier than you expected, and your confidence is starting to thin out.
It’s subtle at first.
When Friction Feels Like Failure
Anytime you do something new, friction shows up. Confusion is normal. Discomfort is normal. Moving slowly is normal. But when you’re building in isolation, your mind doesn’t interpret friction as part of the process. Instead, it begins to interpret it as danger. It feels like proof you’re doing something wrong.
It isn’t.
It’s more like climbing a mountain alone in thick fog, where every obstacle feels like confirmation that you’ve lost your way. Without someone beside you, it becomes easy to believe that the hard part means you’re on the wrong path, when in reality, the hard part is often just what growth feels like.
Friction doesn’t mean you’re failing. It usually means you’re stretching beyond what’s familiar. One small step you can take is simply naming it when discomfort shows up: “This is part of doing something new.” That simple reminder can keep you from turning resistance into a verdict.
Takeaway: The next time something feels slow or uncomfortable, pause and say, “This is part of building something new.” Let that be enough for today.
Your Brain Is Trying to Keep You Safe
Our brains are wired for protection, not expansion. They scan for threats and look for reasons to stay in the familiar. That’s helpful when the danger is real. But it becomes a problem when the “danger” is simply taking a risk in business, sharing your voice, building something meaningful, or being seen in a new way.
Growth feels unsafe.
Brianna Wiest writes in The Mountain Is You that we often self-sabotage not because we don’t want growth, but because growth threatens our sense of safety. Your mind becomes like a lawyer building a case: “This isn’t for you. You’re behind. This is proof you should stop.” Fear starts to sound like wisdom, even when it’s really just your nervous system protecting an old story.
It’s like a smoke alarm going off when you’re only making toast. The alarm is loud, but it doesn’t always mean the house is burning down.
A gentle question to ask yourself is this: “Is this real danger, or is this just unfamiliar territory?” That question alone can create space between you and the spiral.
Takeaway: When fear shows up, ask yourself gently, “Is this danger, or is this just unfamiliar?” That question alone can calm the noise.
Isolation Distorts Reality
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that people don’t lose confidence because they fail. They lose confidence because they’re trying to make sense of uncertainty alone.
When you’re isolated, the loudest voice in the room becomes your past.
Old fears, old assumptions, old patterns start to feel like truth simply because there’s no other voice helping you interpret what’s happening. For me, I learned early that being noticed wasn’t safe. I was often the new kid in school, and the new kid gets picked on. I learned to stay quiet, not raise my hand, not draw attention to myself. Those beliefs didn’t feel like fear. They felt like wisdom.
But they weren’t wisdom anymore.
They were survival strategies that no longer fit the life I was trying to build.
Isolation is like walking with a broken compass. You don’t drift because you want to quit. You drift because you can’t see clearly anymore. A simple step you can take is noticing where you’re trying to interpret everything alone, because that’s often where discouragement quietly grows.
Takeaway: Notice where you’re carrying the weight alone. That may be the place your confidence needs support, not more effort.
The Three Kinds of Support That Strengthen Confidence
Support isn’t one-size-fits-all. There are different kinds of people who help you stay steady when the path gets uncertain.
The first is a coach or mentor. A good mentor is a shortcut because they’ve walked the road before. They know which walls you’re about to hit, and one clear idea from the right person can save you hundreds of hours. Donald Miller often talks about the power of clarity, and mentors help you find it faster. A mentor is like a map when you’re deep in unfamiliar woods.
The second kind of support is peers, those people walking beside you. Peers normalize the struggle. They remind you that you’re not uniquely behind; you’re just in your section of the journey. It’s easier to travel far when you’re not hiking alone. Peers are like fellow climbers on the same trail, reminding you the steep parts are normal.
You’re not the only one climbing.
The third kind of support is encouragement and accountability. Sometimes you need someone who can interrupt the spiral and say, “Of course this is hard. Stay the course.” And sometimes you need someone who keeps you grounded when things go well, too. These people are like guardrails on a mountain road. Not controlling you, just keeping you steady.
You don’t need a crowd. You need a few steady voices.
Takeaway: Ask yourself, “Who is one person I could invite into this season?” Start there.
Ask “Who,” Not Just “How”
If you’re thinking about giving up, I want you to hear this clearly: it may not be that you’re failing. It may not be that the dream is wrong. It may simply be that you’re carrying something too heavy by yourself.
That’s a different problem.
Instead of only asking, “How do I do this?” try asking, “Who am I traveling with?”
Who helps you interpret the fear? Who reminds you of progress? Who holds hope for you before you can hold it yourself? Greg McKeown says the essential path is rarely crowded, but it was never meant to be walked completely alone.
Takeaway: This week, reach out to one person. Don’t ask for a solution, just ask for presence.
Closing Reflection
Confidence isn’t about being fearless. It’s about being supported enough to keep going when things don’t immediately make sense.
You were never meant to carry your vision alone.
RESOURCES & MENTIONS
• Scaling Therapist Services Directory – https://scalingtherapistservices.com
• Course Creation Studio – https://coursecreationstudio.com
• The Mountain Is You by Brianna Wiest
• 10x Is Easier Than 2x by Dan Sullivan & Dr. Benjamin Hardy
• Who Not How by Dan Sullivan & Dr. Benjamin Hardy
• Coach Builder (Donald Miller)
• Time is a Tool
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