Who's Holding the Steering Wheel?
Jul 27, 2026
The Conversation That Changed How I Think About Courage
Have you ever stared at something you knew you should do, but somehow it kept feeling bigger every day you waited?
Maybe you've had an idea sitting in a notebook for months. A course you've wanted to build. A book you've talked about writing. A workshop you've almost announced more than once.
Every time you get close, fear starts asking questions.
What if nobody signs up?
What if I'm not ready?
What if this fails?
If you've ever felt that tension, you're not alone.
In a recent conversation on the Scaling Therapist Podcast, I sat down with therapist and author Tammy Gustafson to talk about fear, healing, and what it means to keep moving when you don't feel confident.
One thing Tammy said kept sticking with me.
She wasn't waiting for fear to disappear.
She just didn't want fear making the decisions.
I think a lot of us need that reminder.
Fear Doesn't Mean You Should Stop
Many of us treat fear like a stop sign.
Sometimes it is.
But sometimes fear is simply telling you you're doing something you've never done before.
Writing your first book feels different than writing progress notes.
Launching your first course feels different than seeing clients.
Speaking on a stage feels different than sitting across from someone in your office.
Of course it feels uncomfortable.
That doesn't mean you're headed in the wrong direction.
This is where we get tricked.
We think confidence has to show up before we take the first step.
Most confidence shows up after we've taken a few shaky ones.
Maybe We've Been Keeping Score the Wrong Way
One of my favorite parts of the conversation was hearing Tammy talk about how she thinks about success.
She didn't define success by book sales.
She didn't define success by getting everything right.
She defined success as showing up.
Learning.
Taking the next step.
That's a very different way to keep score.
Most therapists judge every new idea by the outcome.
Did enough people buy?
Did enough people register?
Did it make enough money?
Those are fair questions.
They just aren't the whole story.
Sometimes success is finally clicking "Publish."
Sometimes it's recording the first lesson.
Sometimes it's telling one person about the idea that's been sitting in your desk drawer for years.
Small steps count.
Something Can Fail Without You Becoming a Failure
One reason fear feels so heavy is because we let one event tell us who we are.
The workshop doesn't fill.
The course doesn't sell.
The book gets rejected.
Before long, the story changes from, "That didn't work," to, "Maybe I'm not cut out for this."
That is the trap.
Something can fail without you becoming a failure.
Tammy talked about learning to separate failure from her identity.
That's true whether you're healing from betrayal, starting a business, or trying something you've never done before.
The faster we learn that, the easier it becomes to keep going.
Don't Let Your Idea Stay in the Drawer
One idea from our conversation has stayed with me.
Don't make expensive guesses.
Try the workshop.
Teach one small group.
Record one lesson.
Write one chapter.
See what happens.
Learn something.
Then take the next step.
I've met people who've had a course outline sitting in a desk drawer for years.
Not because it wasn't a good idea.
Because they were waiting until they finally felt ready.
That day usually doesn't come.
Moving teaches you things waiting never will.
You Weren't Meant to Do Brave Things Alone
Hard things get even harder when you try to carry them by yourself.
That's why Tammy kept coming back to the importance of safe people.
When you're trying something new, your inner critic usually gets louder.
Every setback feels bigger.
Every disappointment feels more personal.
You don't need a crowd cheering for you.
You need a few people who know you well enough to remind you who you are when you start forgetting.
Those kinds of people are a gift.
The Story You're Believing Matters
Fear doesn't only come from what might happen tomorrow.
Sometimes it comes from what happened years ago.
A business idea that didn't work.
A painful rejection.
A season where someone let you down.
Those experiences shape how we think about risk.
But they don't have to write the rest of the story.
Healing doesn't erase your story.
It changes how much power that story has over your next step.
That's true in life.
And it's true in business.
What Do You Want to Be Proud Of?
Near the end of the conversation, we talked about an exercise from Donald Miller's Hero on a Mission.
Imagine people gathering to celebrate your life one day.
What do you hope they say?
Not about how many followers you had.
Not about how many courses you sold.
Not even about how successful your practice became.
Who were you?
How did you love people?
What did you build that continued helping people after you were gone?
What risks did you take because you believed your message mattered?
Those questions have a way of putting fear back in its proper place.
What is Your Next Step
Fear may never stop talking.
The question is whether it gets to make the decisions.
Tammy said, "I don't want fear to be the driver."
That's a picture that's hard to forget.
Fear can ride in the car.
It just doesn't get the steering wheel.
So what's one thing fear has been talking you out of?
Maybe it's the workshop.
Maybe it's the book.
Maybe it's finally telling someone about the idea you can't stop thinking about.
Don't worry about finishing the whole journey this week.
Just take the next step.
That's usually how courage grows.
If you're carrying an idea that's been sitting on the shelf because you don't know what to do next, one simple next step is to reach out to James at Course creation Studio or join the Scaling Therapy Directory. You'll meet other therapists, coaches, and helpers who are asking the same questions, taking small steps, and discovering they don't have to build their mission alone.
Resources and Mentions
- Tammy Gustafson’s Website: https://tammygustafson.com
- Broken to Brave: Your Courageous Act of Healing After Intimate Betrayal on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Broken-Brave-Courageous-Intimate-Betrayal/dp/0800746554
- Baker Publishing page for Broken to Brave: https://bakerpublishinggroup.com/products/9780800746551_broken-to-brave
- Course Creation Studio Store: https://www.coursecreationstudio.com/store
- Scaling Therapist Services: https://scalingtherapistservices.com
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