STP 132 | The High Cost of Playing It Safe — Why Avoiding Risk Holds You Back
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James Marland (2): But I was so embarrassed. I was so embarrassed about messing up my line that when the song was over, I walked off the stage, walked away from the other, where the other kids were supposed to go, and I hid in the music room.
I, I was like devastated and I was upset that I had made such a fool of myself I was hiding there with my head down and my music teacher came over and she found me and she asked, why did you lead the stage? And I had to explain to her that I messed up. And she didn't even realize it
Introduction and Overview
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James Marland (2): Hello and welcome back to the Scaling Therapist Podcast. I'm your host James Marland and I help therapists turn their wisdom into income by adding an online income stream to their services.
That way they can stop relying on one-on-one sessions and [00:01:00] enjoy more independence. Have you ever felt like you're just one step away from being found out? if you spoke up or drew attention to yourself, you stepped out or tried something new, that somebody would finally realize you are not as competent as you appear.
Understanding Imposter Syndrome
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James Marland (2): That Whisper has a name, I'm sure you've heard it before. It's imposter syndrome, and if you felt it, you're really you're not alone. Because recent studies show that 62 to 70% of professionals report feeling, they report feeling like an imposter at some point in their careers. And in the helping for professions like therapists, teachers, and business leaders, those numbers climb even higher.
Today we're gonna be talking about what imposter so syndrome really costs us and why waiting to feel ready might be holding you back. Then we're gonna talk about how to build [00:02:00] courage and even confidence when you feel like that is so far away.
I wanna start with a story. I was teaching a group of therapists about hiring virtual assistants.
And by every measure, if you look about what I had done and the success I had, and the success I was giving to therapists and the people who I had hired and stayed. I was his, I was a success. I was qualified to teach about this topic. And yet there was a whisper you're an imposter. You're an imposter.
Personal Experience with Imposter Syndrome
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James Marland (2): And in my brain I was thinking, what if somebody here knows more than me? What if they realize I'm not that great of a teacher and I don't belong up here? Ha. Have you ever had that moment? The facts of your story, your experience, your education, your success, the facts say you're ready, but your brain is like [00:03:00] you're not ready, insists that you are an imposter.
See, that day reminded me that imposter syndrome isn't about what you have or haven't done. It's really about the story you tell yourself. Imposter syndrome changes the story you tell about yourself and about your own competence. There's a hidden cost for this imposter syndrome and it's
The Cost of Hesitation
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James Marland (2): hesitation.
Years ago, this was, when I was working at a shelter for children and I'd been there about two or three years, one of the longest staff there. It's really difficult to work in. Direct care work. But anyways, I was there and I got this email inviting me to apply for a leadership position, and I thought about it, but then I dismissed it.
I told myself, [00:04:00] I'm not leadership material, or I don't feel like I'm ready. What I found out after somebody else was hired for this position is they only emailed it to very few people. I thought it was a mass email. It was not a mass email. I was chosen to be a leader. I was comfortable where I wasn't confident, but I was safe.
Like I was, there was no fear that I could fail in my current position, but I, also couldn't grow. So by the time I learned that I had been selected and I had turned it down the job was gone. That hesitation, that fear convinced me just to stay small, stay safe. I listened to the whispers that said, you can't do it.
You're not ready. And really, I, look at back at that and I was like, that was one of the big, that was one of the big mistakes I made at that job is not taking that opportunity. [00:05:00] Fear often disguises itself as wisdom. It says, stay here, stay safe. That hesitation cost me. And as you're listening to this, maybe you can think back about a time when the hesitation cost you, where you had some sort of hesitation and it cost you from stepping out and you stayed.
You stayed where your brain said you are safe. What did that fear talk you out of? You're not alone. You're not alone if you're a teacher, a therapist, a counselor, an entrepreneur. This just isn't a you and me thing. It's an us thing. It's the helping, it's, it shows up mightily across helping prof professionals.
Statistics on Imposter Syndrome
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James Marland (2): In 2022, a study found that 93% of student teachers reported a moderate to severe imposter [00:06:00] syndrome. Just think about that for a second. Student teaching. You've gone to school for that and they're already started. Like 93% of them already felt like they were not good enough. They were already doubting themselves.
It's not just teachers, therapists and healthcare providers also experienced that too. recent review estimates about 62% experience, imposter feelings. Two out of every three therapists and healthcare providers feel like they're an imposter. And these are fields like, these are fields that are built on massive amounts of education and licensure and degrees and follow up and continuing education classes.
Even the people who are the most educated feel like they are. Not ready and they have imposter syndrome. [00:07:00] And then finally entrepreneurs, we've talked about educators and therapists, and now entrepreneurs. So if you're a therapist and an entrepreneur, you probably have this double, but in one UK study, 78% of business owners admitted to imposter syndrome and over half, just think about this, over half said it impacted their leadership.
So if you feel like you're the only one, like you're the only one that if you show up and stand out, that people will discover that the real you, that you're not ready, you're not the only one who feels this. In fact, instead of just being the only one, the truth is you're actually in the ma majority, the majority of people feel like they're not ready.
It's not norm, it's normal. What I'm trying to say is it's normal. I'm trying to set up the expectation that feeling like this is normal. However, feeling like this is not [00:08:00] harmless,
How Our Brain Exaggerates Failures
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James Marland (2): our brain will exaggerate our failures and try to convince us to not make risky decisions. When I was a kid. I had a, a small solo line in a Halloween musical. I was the, the doctor part in the Monster Mash, and I crafted a voice and I was, hamming it up and I wore a lab coat and it was real, it was a lot of fun, but it was my turn to sing.
There was, I botched a line. I think I said it twice or I. I skipped one measure and then recovered and said the next line. But I was so embarrassed. I was so embarrassed about messing up my line that when the song was over, I walked off the stage, walked away from the other, where the other kids were supposed to go, and I hid in the music room.
I, I was like devastated [00:09:00] and I was upset that I had made such a fool of myself and. I was hiding there with my head down and my music teacher came over and she found me and she asked, why did you lead the stage? And I had to explain to her that I messed up. And she didn't even realize it to her.
this blows my mind to her. The mistake was not even that bad, but in my mind, it was huge. It was immense. It was the only thing I could think about. Sometimes the failures that sometimes the perceived failures that we feel are massive to us hardly register for anyone else. It doesn't hit them the way it hits us.
We're our own worst critic and our brain is trying to keep us safe, but that's really how imposter syndrome works. It [00:10:00] magnifies. When you stumble and it shrinks your winds, imposter syndrome exaggerates failures and discounts. Our businesses. Businesses. Imposter syndrome exaggerates our failures and discounts our victories.
this doesn't just happen in, an elementary school choir presentation or musical. This happens in businesses too. You might flub up a line in a presentation, a post or a webinar flops, a launch underperforms. To you, it feels enormous. This is proof. It's proof that you're not cut out for it to the audience.
Most of the time it's just forgotten. It's forgotten by tomorrow or by the end of the presentation. They don't see it the same way you [00:11:00] do. So let me talk to you for a second, because this is real, and I think we stay stuck on our failures and they replay in our mind over and over again.
And I wanna ask you. What failure are you replaying in your mind that others probably didn't even notice or they didn't even remember? Those things can stay with us and they can keep us stuck.
Courage Before Confidence
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James Marland (2): The trick is to have courage before confidence. I led a recovery group. For, at our church we call it regeneration. And I had gone through the program once myself before and learned a lot, about myself, learned about a lot about my negative habits, my hangups, and I knew the material and I knew it worked.
And I believed that finding my identity in Christ [00:12:00] and following the process of discipleship and being open with other people was. Was very beneficial. And I, but even though I'd done the material and I had success and I had the support of the leaders, I still thought, who am I to lead this?
And I felt that way most of the way through the, the. Leading the group. Confidence didn't show up before I started though. It showed up after confidence showed up after I acted and started leading. Every time I led, every time I was able to support the group, my confidence grew the action, not the perfection.
Built my courage. Confidence is a byproduct of movement. Courage always comes first. If you wait for [00:13:00] confidence before you act, you're really just gonna wait forever. This is true for a therapist launching a new service, a teacher trying a different approach, or a business owner testing a new idea or product. Courage first, confidence follows. So let's get practical here. Waiting to feel ready.
Taking Action Despite Fear
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James Marland (2): Is really costing you. You might think you're doing the safe thing, but it's costing you more than Imposter syndrome keeps whispering. Not yet. Don't do it yet. You're not ready. You're not good enough. But readiness is not built by perfection. It's built by movement. It's built by taking action. So this week maybe recognize that.
Some of this, this fear of being found out, this fear of imposter syndrome is holding you back. And instead of [00:14:00] waiting, you're going to take an action, take a small action, send an email, reconnect with a friend, like something new on Facebook. Join a group. Apply for that role. Record that video. Make the call that you've been putting off.
Take one, flaw, flawed, step forward.
Course Introduction: Overcoming Self-Doubt
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James Marland (2): I wanna call, I wanna invite you to rewrite your inner story. I want you to stop letting imposter syndrome run the show. I created something to walk with you. It's called Overcome self Doubt, transform your Mindset and Realize your Dreams. What this is, a online course that has. That helps you craft a compelling future vision and turn it into an action plan.
It helps you understand and overcome your imposter syndrome that you're not alone. It helps you shift from a [00:15:00] fixed, limited mindset to a growth mindset with some simple practices and exercises. You'll also learn. Your strengths and values boost your self-esteem and really one of the, one of the things that I felt was very useful with this is challenge your negative thoughts.
Replace some of those old stories and limiting beliefs with empowering motivational truths. It will help you learn to fail and build momentum. It'll help you think about your minimum viable product. So that you can keep moving even when things are not perfect, even when you don't feel like you're ready.
What I'm inviting you to do is build courage. Don't wait for confidence. If that resonates with you, I'd love for you to check out the course. It's in the services slash [00:16:00] [email protected], and you can find that in the courses that we offer. I want you to remember, the longer you wait, the more you lose.
Final Call to Action
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James Marland (2): Take your step forward. However unsafe it feels, however imperfect it feels, move forward and prove fear wrong. I'm James Marland. Thanks for listening.
