STP XXX Ray Engan
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[00:00:04] Ray Engan: Oh my God. It is the most amazing thing that you can do to create really what I call the lean in factor, where people want to hear what you have to say. It's what gets your emails opened. It's what gets your phone calls, answered it. What gets you replies to emails. It gets people interested in what you're doing.
[00:00:20] Ray Engan: It gets your LinkedIn posts looked at. Uh, people want to go, huh? Tell me more. Huh? Tell me more. And that is such a key thing to have people lean in.
[00:00:32] Speaker 3: Hi friend. Welcome to the scaling therapy practice. I'm James Marland, your course creation coach.
[00:00:39] Speaker 3: I'm here to help
[00:00:41] Speaker: therapists who want to scale their reach with effective online courses.
[00:00:45] Speaker 3: I'll share with you all the tools, tips,
[00:00:48] Speaker 3: and technology I've learned along the way that will help you put your mission in motion
[00:00:55] James Marland: The world is waiting for somebody like you to take action. [00:01:00] Let me help you take your first steps. . I.
[00:01:06] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: this show is gonna be very useful to many of you because like, like me, and probably like you, you've sent an email or a voicemail and you've just heard nothing back. Like ghosted, you're wondering who ate my email?
[00:01:22] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: In this episode, you're gonna hear this back and forth lively discussion with Ray. He's a, a former standup comic turned connection coach, and he's gonna pull back the curtain on why people don't respond, and then he's gonna give his advice on what to do about it. It, it's really good, it's really good advice, and he's gonna share this with humor and insights and things that he's l that he's learned over time that gets him results and he's gonna explain how this, this was really, uh, key for me and something I realized I've been doing wrong is like. When [00:02:00] I'm first introduced to people, I don't have the right to ask questions yet, and questions actually put up walls.
[00:02:06] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: So he is gonna show us how to flip the script and build curiosity and confidence,
[00:02:12] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: so if you're struggling with getting noticed, if you're struggling with people responding or just when you share your work, you're wondering, did you even send it out and you wish your emails got more replies? This episode could. Be a game changer for you, like it's helping me rein, revitalize my connections with other people.
[00:02:33] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: Please enjoy and share this episode. And finally, I wanted to let you know, uh, this week, so if you're listening to this episode, uh, before June 26th, uh, I have a workshop course for you.
[00:02:46] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: Have you ever sat through a CE course and thought I could do better than this, or it sparks something inside you like, man. I could be making CE courses and earning an extra passive of [00:03:00] income. Well, there's a special opportunity, there's gonna be a workshop course idea to paycheck June 26th, 10:00 AM to 12:00 PM Eastern Standard Time.
[00:03:09] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: It's gonna be presented by Leo DeRock from Counselors Choice Award. He helps therapists create and publish CE courses on on the website. It's gonna be Thursday, June 26th, 10:00 AM to 12:00 PM Eastern Standard time. The registration link will be in the show notes.
[00:03:32] James Marland: Hello friend, and welcome back to the Scaling Therapy Practice. This is James Marland. I'm with my friend Ray Engen and he is from Humor Speaks. Welcome to the show.
[00:03:43] Ray Engan: James, thanks for having me here. This is such a wonderful, I love the stuff you got backstage there for us, you know, so the, in the green room, it's fantastic. I love sitting in the hot tub nibbling on a dove bar. You know, and the, the team you have for the Manny Petties. That was fantastic. That was great.
[00:03:58] James Marland: yeah, yeah. And the, the [00:04:00] stakes was a bonus, you
[00:04:02] Ray Engan: Yeah. Oh.
[00:04:04] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: So welcome, welcome to the show. Ray and I, uh, met in, in a mastermind and I've really connected with him and what he offers, and I'm excited to present. The topic here today, uh, the topic we're gonna talk about is the problem of no one calls me back. How to build real connections with people by breaking down the barriers of, um, authentic communication. So, uh, Ray, I. This is not what you started out with in your, uh, in your career. You're kind
[00:04:36] Ray Engan: No.
[00:04:36] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: up here. So why don't you give us like the 30 foot view, 30 foot, 30,000 foot view of how you ended up here and what you're working on now on helping people break down barriers to communication.
[00:04:49] Ray Engan: Well, I did standup comedy for 15 years and wrote a little bit for late night TV and, and, uh, left that and went into sales. And when I was in sales, everywhere I went, I [00:05:00] became a sales manager. And everywhere I went, sales went up and they went through the roof and I thought, oh my God, I'm just lucky. You know, I'm, I'm, I, I have the right people.
[00:05:08] Ray Engan: But I kind of looked at it and go, oh, different companies different. Different things we sold and it all worked. So I kind of reverse engineered it and I realized what I was doing is I was taking, taking the part about standup that you guys don't even think about. Like I had to walk into Rock Springs, Wyoming with a bunch of bikers playing pool for a hundred bucks a game, and I had five minutes to talk him out of playing pool.
[00:05:30] Ray Engan: Turn around and watch my show and have them enjoy that process. So they wouldn't hit me over the head with the pool cues, and I could do that. I had no fear about doing that. And I, I, and I taught that to others and I wondered, would corporate America buy this? And I had no idea where to go. So I went to a seminar company and taught their leadership program, uh.
[00:05:49] Ray Engan: Not really. I taught their title with my, my Concepts and I became one of their most requested speakers really quickly. And I should have left [00:06:00] after a year and gone out on my own. 'cause I proved it worked, but it was kind of easy. So I, uh, took Covid to shut it down and make me go. Out on my own. And, uh, uh, I worked with this guy and uh, I did real well in his system.
[00:06:13] Ray Engan: And then he asked me if I would coach these entrepreneurs. And I said yes. And when I did these entrepreneurs, I found out that they had great ideas and had built great rapport, their words. And I said, what's the problem? Well, nobody calls me back. Nobody answers my emails. And that's why I realized there's a big problem that we have in this country.
[00:06:31] Ray Engan: And there's that gap between stranger. Building rapport, that's called connection. And we lost five years of people skills. We lost five years of the ability to work and understand how to connect with people. And people do it ridiculously wrong. They do it the exact opposite way they should. And what I do is I make it simpler and easier for quicker connections, uh, faster friendships, and that leads to, uh, [00:07:00] longer lasting clients.
[00:07:00] Ray Engan: It's really, you're building a relationship that. If that word is overused, but if you look at it, uh, the way that you sell yourself, your messaging is kind of like. What attracts people to you? Uh, your marketing, that's like flirting. Uh, dating is like sales. How long the dating lasts and how well you do it.
[00:07:19] Ray Engan: That seems that that how well you do the dating is how long the, the, the relationship lasts, and then you. Finally get down on your knees. You reflect on the past. You look at a vision toward the future, and you wind up with a proposal and a long-term commitment. So it's very, very, very, very similar to that.
[00:07:34] Ray Engan: But you've gotta build that relationship first. You have to be able to meet people before you get to chance to date them.
[00:07:41] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: I like the, uh, the illustration of the, the dating relationship. I've heard it in other areas. What, what, what I wanted to know when you started was people are doing things wrong.
[00:07:53] Ray Engan: Uhhuh.
[00:07:53] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: you, do you have a list or some, like top three things that people do wrong when they're trying to [00:08:00] build this connection and build this relationship?
[00:08:03] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: Because I bet I do some of this and I need to know what am I doing wrong when I'm trying to build my relationships? Right.
[00:08:10] Ray Engan: well, the, the, the, the best way to check yourself is. Am I about to say something that I would not say to a friend of mine and what the biggest difference? I think the fastest way to make quicker connections is stop asking questions of people when you first meet them, because you don't have the right to ask questions yet.
[00:08:33] Ray Engan: And when you think about your friends meeting, they don't ask you questions. They make statements. That's what friends do. They'll like, if I popped onto you, you know, if you were a good friend of mine, oh, I still see you got that picture of Carman getting hit on the head with a rock. You know, they'll make a statement about what's in the background.
[00:08:50] Ray Engan: They'll say something about that. They won't say this. Good morning. How are you today? Said, no friend ever. I. What we do by, by saying that [00:09:00] is we build the wall up in front of people. 'cause they don't know who you are, why you're here, how long you're gonna stay, or whether you're a friend or foe. So if they think that the wall goes up, um, and look at it this way, if a stranger comes up to you on the street and says, uh, can I ask you a question?
[00:09:20] Ray Engan: What you do is. Okay. You physically pull back and you lower your chin. You're actually protecting your throat, that subconscious protection of your throat when you're doing that. But if I said, I have the strangest question, what is it? Statement, confidence, comfort question. I'm not sure of myself and I'm not sure what I'm doing, will you help me play?
[00:09:45] Ray Engan: So the, the, and we, we do this all the time.
[00:09:49] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: relationship,
[00:09:50] Ray Engan: It does.
[00:09:51] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: of like, who is this person? What do they want from me? like, what? It's curiosity, right? It's like, what, what is going on [00:10:00] here? And asking for help or they're, they're, it's just a different dynamic
[00:10:05] Ray Engan: You, you've hit on one of the greatest words of all if you are, uh, an entrepreneur that is trying to sell yourself curiosity. Is the main thing to get you through the door. Uh, it is what gets your emails opened, it, what gets your emails replied to, uh, it starts conversation. It is really the, a big basis of what people lean in, lean in towards.
[00:10:30] Ray Engan: Uh, the, the three big things are curiosity, relevance, and specificity. And if you can hit on those three things, then you've got people wondering, well, what's this all about? How do we do this?
[00:10:41] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: So curiosity is really important in starting a relationship with other people.
[00:10:46] Ray Engan: Oh my God. It is the most amazing thing that you can do to create really what I call the lean in factor, where people want to hear what you have to say. It's what gets your emails opened. It's what gets your phone calls, answered it. What gets you replies to [00:11:00] emails. It gets people interested in what you're doing.
[00:11:02] Ray Engan: It gets your LinkedIn posts looked at. Uh, people want to go, huh? Tell me more. Huh? Tell me more. And that is such a key thing to have people lean in. Um, humor is a great thing to help you do that as well. 'cause what people don't realize is that humor is instant likability, trust and rapport rolled into one.
[00:11:25] Ray Engan: Um, we've all met strangers, right? Sometimes it's magical, sometimes it's creepy. What do you, what do you suppose the difference is? What do you think the difference is between magical and creepy?
[00:11:39] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: Um, I think a little bit of, a, uh, can you identify and are you aligned with what they are saying? Like there's, there's a connection, um, that makes sense. Like you can, you can, there's, there's dots to [00:12:00] connect. I'm, I'm struggling here,
[00:12:01] Ray Engan: So, so the, the two things that I get, the first, the number one answer I always get is the vibe, right? And how do you define.
[00:12:08] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: that's,
[00:12:09] Ray Engan: the, the connection is really kind of what you're talking about with the vibe. But when I try and get people to dial down on the vibe, they'll say, well, it's kind of the tone in the body language, right?
[00:12:19] Ray Engan: And I said, so it's so tone is a big part. They go, yeah. So I do this live all the time. I'll go to people, so, so if I do this, hi, what's your name? I go, that's magical, right? And literally even on. On Zoom. What you see when people do that is they pull away
[00:12:36] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: Yeah.
[00:12:37] Ray Engan: that same thing. They tuck their chin, and then I say, okay, so if I change the tone, then it's more magical and I'll change the tone.
[00:12:42] Ray Engan: Like, hi, what's your name? And that becomes even more creepy.
[00:12:46] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: the
[00:12:46] Ray Engan: And,
[00:12:47] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: the wrong type of podcast.
[00:12:48] Ray Engan: and you all, you, you all, this little dropping down, you subconsciously protect the, the most vulnerable air of your body, your throat, when you're a little bit creeped out. What happens when you [00:13:00] laugh?
[00:13:01] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: You're open. Yeah.
[00:13:03] Ray Engan: You throw your head back. It's like saying, look, James, I trust you.
[00:13:05] Ray Engan: You can kill me. Go ahead. There it is. Right? And so subconsciously with humor, it is instant likability, trust and rapport and, and everything that's good in life happens after the laughter. So if you can control the laughter, then you can control everything that's good in life.
[00:13:24] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: Mm-hmm.
[00:13:25] Ray Engan: And you have a, you have a leg up.
[00:13:26] Ray Engan: It gives you more second chances, uh, at the workplace. If you work with people, people that, uh, people in the workplace view the, the person who has the funniest person as the best worker. 84% of the time that person gets it, whether it's true or not. And here's the good part is to utilize humor. You don't even have to be funny.
[00:13:50] Ray Engan: You can use it in other ways. Like, uh, uh, I have a friend that gives seminars. He's not funny at all, but he utilizes funny by saying, Hey, do you know what time it is? And [00:14:00] somebody say, oh, it's, you know, 1115. No it's not. It's funny cat video time. And he'll show a, a funny cat video and uh, uh. He does that and he does that throughout a seminar at the end, he goes, you know what time it is?
[00:14:11] Ray Engan: And they, they all yell funny cat videos. No, no. It's, it's like 1223, you know, so he'll, he'll flip it around on him and, and, and you don't have to be Robin Williams. You don't have to be really funny to utilize the value of humor in your presentations, in your relationships. You can let other people do that for you, and you still get credit as if you were Robin Williams.
[00:14:33] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: Yeah, that's, those are all good points. And I, and I do like the, um, you know, building that connection before you. Sell things like, like, isn't that another mistake that people make? Like they move too quickly?
[00:14:49] Ray Engan: Yeah, the more, the faster you ask for money, the less of it you get.
[00:14:54] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: Ooh. Can you say,
[00:14:55] Ray Engan: Yeah.
[00:14:56] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: me why? Like ex build that out a little bit?
[00:14:59] Ray Engan: Well, [00:15:00] people don't trust you yet to give you money. If you look at really what a, a, a sale comes down to, it's, uh, there's two factors on one side is trust, and the other side is a congruent, irresistible offer. And if you have a lot of trust, it doesn't matter what the offer is, they'll buy it.
[00:15:26] Ray Engan: When we start out, we have zero trust. So in order for them to buy on zero trust, the offer has to be so low that for them to say yes. And if you ask for it too quickly, you have not built that trust up. So if you sell anything, you'll sell the lowest possible thing you have. But if you build that trust up.
[00:15:48] Ray Engan: Before you ask for the money, they'll consider everything that you have on your plate that you can sell, and more than likely, they'll go for the, the, the bigger ticket items because they trust you enough and they want more of you [00:16:00] in their life. Does that make sense?
[00:16:02] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: Oh yeah, absolutely. so, um, how, how, how do you get people to trust you enough to, to open your emails and get calls back?
[00:16:16] Ray Engan: Uh, well, they should be like, your subject lines is the first thing that, uh, uh, you have to look at. Here's the thing about emails, and this is different than with really good friends. People don't read your emails. They're probably not gonna open your email. And what do you do to attract attention through that?
[00:16:42] Ray Engan: Curiosity, relevance or specificity? Those three things. Um, the, the, the thing about it should be six words or less in, in a, in a subject line, about 55 characters. I think that's what it comes down to. [00:17:00] Uh, when you have your email, people that love you, read 26 seconds of your email.
[00:17:08] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: The, the people that love you
[00:17:09] Ray Engan: The people that love you.
[00:17:10] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: Yeah.
[00:17:11] Ray Engan: So if we write an email and it's more than a hundred words, even your best friends don't read the whole thing
[00:17:19] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: Hmm.
[00:17:20] Ray Engan: with an offer, especially, um, so why are you sending out four page emails to start? Somehow you have to build the trust. Um.
[00:17:31] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: That's a, that's actually, that goes into the mistake category, I'm sure. 'cause if you send people long, long emails that they never read, you're training them to trash your emails
[00:17:44] Ray Engan: Yeah. And, and, and why do I, somebody, I don't know, why do I wanna spend five minutes understanding what they do?
[00:17:53] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: Mm.
[00:17:53] Ray Engan: Um, the most, the most effective? Here's, here's the number one thing if you wanted to, [00:18:00] uh, I. If you wanted to improve your sales this month by probably $10,000, uh, simply do this one thing. Look back in your past to everybody you've ever worked with before, and send them an email that only has seven words in it.
[00:18:22] Ray Engan: James, it's been too long. Let's catch up Ray.
[00:18:29] Ray Engan: And the subject line be, remember me, remember James Marland, you know, uh, or, or what's best yet is if you can put a subject line that is a connection between you and that person. You know, I, if I see people on the street that look like people I used to work with, and I actually look for that so I can send this email.
[00:18:47] Ray Engan: 'cause then the subject line is, saw your doppelganger today.
[00:18:50] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: Yeah.
[00:18:51] Ray Engan: James, you look great. It's been too long. Let's catch up, Ray, and if I'm gonna put a link, I'm gonna put it in the PS because people will read your [00:19:00] Ps more so than the bulk of your, of your email.
[00:19:06] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: And this would generate, you know, people will, uh, read it and do something with it
[00:19:14] Ray Engan: Okay.
[00:19:14] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: they wanna connect with you or they're going through a problem that. know you handle, you're like, oh, yeah, I, I'm struggling. You know, with, with you, it'd be like, I'm struggling with connecting with people. Ray knows how to connect with people.
[00:19:28] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: I should probably check in with Ray and see what he's doing. The
[00:19:32] Ray Engan: and it's, go ahead. Go ahead.
[00:19:33] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: well, the, and then, um, because what they might not have had the problem you can solve when you first contacted them six months ago, eight months ago or whatever. But now. They might be after you've been developing some relationship with them, or they, they know about your, me, they might know about my podcast and be like, oh, he talks about course creation. Six months ago I wasn't thinking about doing a [00:20:00] course, but now I'm in a better space and I have, you know, I found a mission that I'm passionate about and I wanna share it with other people. You know, James has this podcast about sharing your mission. What I wonder what that's about. it's not pushy. It's not like, give me money. It's, it's, uh, it's, it's just a, it builds that curiosity factor.
[00:20:24] Ray Engan: Curiosity factor. It's, it's genuine concern for others. Everybody who's charismatic that you've ever met has genuine concern for others. And if, Hey, what's up with you? You know, let's catch up. It's been too long. Okay. That sounds good. Because you're sending these to people that you, and I would only sense people I liked.
[00:20:43] Ray Engan: I had fun working with 'cause I don't wanna have to work with people that I don't enjoy.
[00:20:47] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: Yeah.
[00:20:47] Ray Engan: you get to choose your customers. I call that the location close 'cause you have to be there. To have them buy something from you. And we think that we are on the top of mind of everybody after we meet [00:21:00] them. And they don't care about you.
[00:21:02] Ray Engan: They've got other things in their life to worry about, nor should they care about you. So you have to drip on them to let them know that you're still there. And if you do that, when, and, and, and when I started doing this, been too long, let's catch up. Uh, campaign I did it. I spoke in front of a group of people that wanted to become.
[00:21:21] Ray Engan: Professional speakers and I had them write down five names of people that had asked 'em to speak. They don't care whether it's for free or for fee, uh, that they enjoyed the event that they spoke at. And I said, send this email right now. No logos, no nothing. Just James, it's been too long. Let's catch up Rick.
[00:21:36] Ray Engan: And within one minute after they sent it, they sent five emails out within one minute. Hands were going up. Oh my God, I gotta reply. Oh my God, I gotta reply. Oh my God, I gotta reply. Uh, I created a thing called the, the the holiday challenge, where I was trying to get people to add $10,000 in the month of December, the slowest month of the year, from doing a bunch of simple little things.
[00:21:56] Ray Engan: This was one of them. And those people that did that [00:22:00] challenge average $15,000 a person. And the biggest pop came from that email.
[00:22:04] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: Wow, that's gold.
[00:22:06] Ray Engan: Yeah.
[00:22:07] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: That's great advice. let's, uh, let's spend a few minutes talking about your new project. I think it's the called the Lean in Factor. Right? Can you just share about that and what it is and, uh, how it helps people?
[00:22:21] Ray Engan: The Lead in Factor is a program that runs along the lines of that challenge. I've kind of, kind of melded them together as, as time has gone on, and it's a series of simple little things that bring people closer to you that makes it easier for you to create. I call it the familiarity of friendship. Um, can you walk in a room and own the room very quickly or.
[00:22:46] Ray Engan: Are you, even introverts can use this to create interest in them in networking events without having to ask those asinine, oh, what do you do for a living? You know, it's [00:23:00] like, oh, and, and I will give you ways to become authentically you with other people, uh, through. A different series of questions that we can talk about as far as what works for you.
[00:23:13] Ray Engan: Uh, I have an intern that was going to a networking event and he said, oh my God, I'm going to networking event. I hate these things. I don't know what to say. What do I do? And I said, well, here's three things you could say that will make you step I. Step aside from everybody else. And uh, the one he said worked the best for him was, uh, when people said, hi, who are you?
[00:23:33] Ray Engan: What do you do? And they asked him that. He goes, well, I'm looking for a hero and I'm hoping you're it. So a hundred percent statement, it builds up the other person and it makes them want to answer to the question they've never heard. Now, it was also a techie convention. So I said, after you talked a little bit, ask 'em a question.
[00:23:52] Ray Engan: Hey, what cartoon character influenced you growing up? Everybody had an answer for that. Nobody was asking that question.
[00:23:59] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: conference, [00:24:00] everybody had a cartoon character.
[00:24:01] Ray Engan: Everybody.
[00:24:02] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: that's
[00:24:03] Ray Engan: Yeah,
[00:24:04] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: Like
[00:24:05] Ray Engan: yeah. It is like,
[00:24:06] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: know Tech people, they
[00:24:07] Ray Engan: yeah,
[00:24:08] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: and anime and superheroes
[00:24:10] Ray Engan: do. They still do. Yeah.
[00:24:12] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: Oh yeah.
[00:24:13] Ray Engan: so you, you, you kind of, you roll the dice on, on, on something that you think will work, and if it doesn't.
[00:24:20] Ray Engan: Oh, well, there's 8 billion people on the planet. If you only want people who are one in a million, that means there's 8,000 of those that you get to choose from. You don't need 8,000 customers, you know, so you got, you got plenty of, if you got, if you got 10% of, of, of 1% of that, that's still enough customers to keep you fed for a year.
[00:24:42] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: Yeah, for sure.
[00:24:44] Ray Engan: I, I, I, that was like a math problem that I did not do well on, but. I think it works out.
[00:24:51] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: Uh, so who, who? Who would benefit from the, the lean in factor? Like who's the, the perfect person for this?
[00:24:59] Ray Engan: [00:25:00] Um, I work best with speakers and coaches that love doing that, but they kind of feel like they're a little sleazy when they go to sell their own stuff because the reason they feel sleazy is they're uncomfortable in really their own native genius.
[00:25:15] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: Mm-hmm.
[00:25:16] Ray Engan: there's, there's. Mindset, skillset, tool set that you need to, to work on, on, on the, these areas, but they're simple learnable things that make you go, huh, I should be telling people about this.
[00:25:32] Ray Engan: Because the, I think the biggest problem is that we, we do this thing so easily and so well, um, that we don't think it's va of value 'cause it's so easy. That's exactly what you should be doing for a living, is that kind of stuff, because you have to believe that what you do is amazing. You have to believe that you're amazing.
[00:25:52] Ray Engan: Your products and services are amazing. You have to believe that you do it better, faster, quicker than most others, not all others, just most others. And then you have to believe [00:26:00] that if I can take what's in my head and put it in yours, I can transform your life and make it better and easier. And I know throughout my entire life, since I was in little league and we did the the candy bar sales, I know that anybody that I hung around for an extended period of time, they simply sell more stuff.
[00:26:20] Ray Engan: Now, I don't know if it's me, but I was there through all these things. And everywhere I've gone, sales have gone up and I know it's just a factor of these little things. And it's not about sales techniques or things like that. It's about having authentic conversations that remove the roadblocks that stop people from buying from you.
[00:26:40] Ray Engan: And those roadblocks are, are different for everybody. But, uh, one of the biggest ones I see is that person feeling that, that the word I hear all the time is salesy. And, um, here's the, here's what what I did to, 'cause I felt, felt that too. It's like, it's like when you're talking to somebody and they go, well, I do all this kind of stuff and it's wonderful and I'm [00:27:00] amazing at what I do, and it's only $5,000.
[00:27:01] Ray Engan: You know, it's like you, you bandcamp the voice as you go up and you tense up when you're doing that because you don't think you're worth it. You have to do different things to create that value in your head. What you do is unique enough to charge you very unique pricing, and it's so unique. It's gonna be a very unique value to your customer, and I had to believe that these things I do that helped everybody I know sell more stuff if I didn't share them and give people the opportunity to know what they are.
[00:27:35] Ray Engan: I'm being selfish. I'm stopping, I'm stopping the economy for the rest of the world. Now, it's not the whole thing, but it's a piece of it. And, and the, well, here's the, the the thing, the, the thing that kind of got me to this, uh, it was JFK that said the only reason to speak is to change the world. And that sounds deep and grandiose.
[00:27:57] Ray Engan: But then if you think about it, if you tell your kid to clean their [00:28:00] room, you just change the world. And so these little things we do, if I can change, if I can change your world, if I can get you to connect to somebody you didn't connect to before and you buy something and they, they're gonna buy the, the, the little tips and tricks that work inside the lean in factor.
[00:28:17] Ray Engan: They don't just work while you're working with me. They work forever. These are human, these are human condition things that we are, that we've, that I have realized through years and years and years of being in front of people and being scared to death of being in front of people. And, and I can get you free coffee at Starbucks, free cake pops, all this kinda stuff with all these little things.
[00:28:37] Ray Engan: I can, I can have you control a line at Starbucks. I, I have fun at Starbucks. I, I really do. I test things out at Starbucks.
[00:28:44] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: That's awesome.
[00:28:45] Ray Engan: Yeah.
[00:28:46] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: I was, um, as you were talking, I was thinking, um, I went to a, a mastermind with Danny. I, Iny Iny, INY, uh, from Mey he, he explained something, I think it was a video mastermind. [00:29:00] Anyways, we talked about, like, I, I shared exactly what you shared, like, oh, I don't like selling, and how do I get over this?
[00:29:06] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: Those feelings of feeling slimy and manipulative and, and he came out with a statement. And it stuck with me. Like, selling is awesome. is awesome. When you solve somebody's deep problems, they want you to solve their problems. Your ideal client is looking for you to solve their problems, and selling is awesome.
[00:29:27] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: When you spend your time and your life solving people's problems and changing their life, and that's, you know, your, your message is spot on with that. You, you don't have to be manipulative. don't have to twist somebody's arm. You don't have to go up to people and say, buy my stuff. ideal client is looking for your solution. And so how do we, how do we connect with them? How do we build that know, like, and trust factor? How do we put out the sign that says, I can help you, you know, help this way. [00:30:00] Uh, that's, that's the mission that we're, we're trying to go with. And Ray, your, your stuff's awesome. I enjoyed, you know, this conversation has really put a lot of thoughts my head, but it also makes me think you have a lot more to share. So, where can people find you, you know, on the internet or, uh, webpage or, uh, I know you're on LinkedIn, so can you share where people can find you and your resources?
[00:30:24] Ray Engan: Sure, you can email me [email protected]. Um, there's also, uh, leadership through laughter.com. Uh, is a is a website. It's kind of more of a proof of life than anything else, but there's some, some things about what we do there. I. Uh, but those two things, LinkedIn is probably the best way to get ahold of me [email protected], uh, and email With that.
[00:30:46] Ray Engan: Um, if you connect on those things, my calendars are on there. If you, if you have questions about what you're doing and want me to look at something you're doing right now, uh, let's sit down and talk for 15 minutes. You know, no sales, no bs. I just want to. [00:31:00] Move you a notch up. If I make your life better and easier, uh, the odds of you coming back are good.
[00:31:05] Ray Engan: So I, I'd rather know you and, and not have you buy from me than not know you and, and, and have you wait, have you buy from me. That's a weird combination. I think I said that wrong, but I think you get the idea. So, uh, yeah, if you're, if you're working on something and you want to, you wanna take a look and you wonder why things aren't getting answered or, or, or, uh, how to, how to edit something down, I can, I can slash and.
[00:31:28] Ray Engan: There, there's, there's three words I use for use for that too. Uh, [email protected], leadership to laughter.com, ray engen.com, they all work. Uh, they all go to the same place. Um,
[00:31:38] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: have a weekly, is it weekly? Is it a weekly show on LinkedIn? A weekly live.
[00:31:43] Ray Engan: it's a, it's a live stream. It goes on LinkedIn, it's on YouTube and it's on Facebook and it's roadblock removal for speech speakers and coaches, and,
[00:31:52] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: removal for speakers and coaches.
[00:31:54] Ray Engan: yep.
[00:31:55] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: check that out. And I, I know I get it in my feed, so, uh, thanks.
[00:31:59] Ray Engan: [00:32:00] Am Pacific every Wednesday,
[00:32:02] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: I, I, uh, what is that Eastern? Anyways, figure it out.
[00:32:05] Ray Engan: two, 2:00 PM Eastern. I know that so many times. 11:00 AM Pacific, 2:00 PM Eastern.
[00:32:11] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: Oh, I mess up time zone so much. Anyways, so Ray was awesome, awesome content, awesome. Uh, message and heart. listeners, please, uh, check out Ray's stuff and also, you know, connect with him, ask questions, uh, get, get his, uh, get his advice from the YouTube and the the LinkedIn. He's a genuine guy, like what you see is what you get.
[00:32:35] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: He's friendly and every. meeting I've had with him, friendly and helpful. So check out Ray's stuff. Ray, thanks for being on the show.
[00:32:42] Ray Engan: I felt like now's the time where I need to like re the alien removing the mask.
[00:32:47] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: the mask
[00:32:48] Ray Engan: The hell with you, James. You know,
[00:32:51] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: now. So, uh, Ray, thanks for thanks so much for being on the show. I really enjoyed our conversation.
[00:32:56] Ray Engan: it was a pleasure being here. Thank you so much for having me.
[00:32:59] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: All [00:33:00] right. Uh oh. I do an ending. Uh. Okay, friends, it's now time to go put your mission in motion. And maybe you should try out that email trick, that seven word email that Ray suggested to earn a little extra income. Do it now and, and email Ray or myself. How did that, how did that work for you? I'd love to know.
[00:33:20] james_1_02-27-2025_125616: All right. Put your mission in motion. We'll see you next week. All right, so stop.
[00:33:25] ​
