STP 179 | Makeing Hard Conversations Easier: Games for Grief, Feelings, and Connection
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krista-smith-larson_1_03-19-2026_115814: [00:00:00] they could come in and not intend on sharing or try to feel like they're bottling everything up and can they be trusted and all that stuff really gets washed away when you bring out a game because then you're just two people having a conversation, playing a game, and having fun together.
James Marland: Games are fun. HIPAA violations, not so much fun. If a HIPAA violation happened tomorrow, would your practice know what to do? Or would you just be searching through scattered policies and forms? before we jump into today's conversation, I want to remind you about the HIPAA Compliance Toolkit Workshop with Dr.
Natasha Guess on Friday, September 18th, 11:00 AM Eastern. Dr. Guess will walk you through how to apply the toolkit to your practice, answer questions, and turn your policies into a practical system you can actually use. [00:01:00] You can find the registration link in the show notes. Now, let me introduce today's guest.
Krista Smith Larson is the founder of Winning Communications. She's a mom who has walked with her children through divorce, single parenting, remarriages, blended family, grief, anxiety, depression, and trauma. Out of those hard seasons, she began creating play therapy games that help kids and families talk about what they are truly feeling.
Today, her games are used to encourage communication, healing, express feelings, and stronger relationships at home, in churches, and in the counseling settings. Let's join our conversation.Hello and welcome back to the Scaling Therapist Podcast. I'm your host, James Marlin, and today I'm gonna bring you something that's close to my heart, and that is games and communication, [00:02:00] and how Krista Smith Larson, founder of Winning Communications, is using this. To help people and change their lives. Krista, welcome to the show
krista-smith-larson_1_03-19-2026_115814: Well, hello James. Thanks so much for having me on.
james_1_03-19-2026_125813: and we were just talking about our love of games. I was telling you, I have a game night at my house and I go to my friend Andy's house a couple times a year. We have game nights and my brother throws game nights and I just love And you were telling me you also are a lover of games.
krista-smith-larson_1_03-19-2026_115814: I am, I'm kind of a third generation gamer. I grew up with games with my parents and my siblings, and we always had game nights that I thoroughly enjoyed. And then when I had kids myself, I found them to be the most. Easiest way to connect with them. We could slow down, we could laugh, we could, whatever happened during the day, we could kind of put aside and enjoy some time together.
So I loved it then. And now I do it with my grandkids and that is all the more fun because it's just me and them in a way that we can [00:03:00] connect.
james_1_03-19-2026_125813: We still play games when my family gets together with my parents. We play, spades or hearts or rook.
krista-smith-larson_1_03-19-2026_115814: Oh hearts. We do a hearts tournament every single year we do it at Christmas. We have different levels that you can do, and we have a traveling trophy for our hearts tournament.
james_1_03-19-2026_125813: That's awesome.
krista-smith-larson_1_03-19-2026_115814: We've been doing it for over 35 years, every single Christmas.
james_1_03-19-2026_125813: If, if I live closer, I'd try to get an invite. But, you're in, Minnesota and I'm in Pennsylvania. That'd be a long commute for a game of hearts,
krista-smith-larson_1_03-19-2026_115814: It's a perfect thing to do on Christmas night in Minnesota.
james_1_03-19-2026_125813: Awesome. Well, that's, uh, probably one of the reasons why I wanted to talk to you. 'cause I think we met at A-A-C-C-A couple
krista-smith-larson_1_03-19-2026_115814: Absolutely. Yep. Yep.
james_1_03-19-2026_125813: And I thought it was just so cool. 'cause there's a lot of other resources and resource tables out there, but very few, few game tables or resource.
There were a couple, but I was just like, this is somebody that I wanna talk [00:04:00] to because I love games. I think they are, they, they, they do things that just general conversation doesn't do.
krista-smith-larson_1_03-19-2026_115814: Absolutely.
james_1_03-19-2026_125813: Why do you love games? And then we'll get into your story about how you started, how do you started winning communication, but what did games do and why do you love them?
krista-smith-larson_1_03-19-2026_115814: I think games has a way of taking down the veil of uncomfortableness. It's a very non-threatening atmosphere. It's a very fun, atmosphere where you can just kind of, instead of sitting down face to face and say, how was your day? You can play a game and you can find all out everything about them without ever making them feel like you are pushing for more information or that they're in an uncomfortable situation.
It's just what makes it very comfortable and very just a really good way to connect, build relationships. That's another big thing nowadays. It's really hard. You always have all this screen time and it's the time that you can put the phones down and you can just relate to one [00:05:00] another, talk, ask questions, learn about each other.
It's just really a very, very good way to be able to build deeper relationships and build communication skills.
james_1_03-19-2026_125813: The, the phone and the screen time, it's so distracting.
krista-smith-larson_1_03-19-2026_115814: So
james_1_03-19-2026_125813: hard
krista-smith-larson_1_03-19-2026_115814: it robs us of,
james_1_03-19-2026_125813: Yeah.
krista-smith-larson_1_03-19-2026_115814: It robs us of all those tools to be able to build relationships and communication skills is something everybody needs in life. And I think, we are losing touch with that a little bit more. So it's a good way to be able to build some good communication skills too.
james_1_03-19-2026_125813: And you use this with your kids, right?
krista-smith-larson_1_03-19-2026_115814: I use it with my kids. I now use it with my grandkids. I also use it with adults. I have a widow group that I lead every single week. We use it with my widows. I teach a divorce care group. I teach a grief share group. We use it with those groups too, so it can be used in many, many different applications.
james_1_03-19-2026_125813: Okay, so that's, interesting. How did you get started with this? [00:06:00] Like we talked a little bit in the pre-show, like this is. Out of most people's comfort zone, you started a company winning communications with games that wasn't what you thought you'd be doing, you know, when you were younger. So I.
krista-smith-larson_1_03-19-2026_115814: Absolutely not. So for me, if I was a therapist, I would be using these games day in and day out with my clients. 'cause they're the perfect way to be able to break down those walls. But I am not a therapist. I am literally just. A mom, and I don't wanna say just a mom, but I don't have any numbers or letters behind my name.
I just, came up with this from personal experience and, our family has gone through a lot and so as we were going through the journeys of life with all the different hearts and changes and, things that we went through, it was just my way to be able to connect my way, to be able to have a slow down and just really.
Enjoy [00:07:00] relationship time and not have it always be involved with the chaos of our life.
james_1_03-19-2026_125813: So you've overcome some challenges to get to where you are. What are some of those challenges that you've overcome?
krista-smith-larson_1_03-19-2026_115814: I went through a divorce back in, the early nineties and my children were just four and six very young. At that time, I did all the things that you would do. I took them to a group. I went to a group. We, really focused on weathering through the single parenthood.
We, did all the things that I, you know, thought I was doing the best thing for them, and, and they weathered that storm pretty good. But then I remarried, and then you have the whole blended family issue, and my kids turned into teenagers, preteen and all that. And I noticed when they hit those ages, a whole nother set of emotions and, problems came up.
And so I really needed to find a time. And they weren't easy to sit down, you know, they didn't [00:08:00] welcome sitting down and talking about their feelings. And so I had to come up with a way to be able to connect with them, be able to talk about. Their days and what they were going through in a safe environment.
And I found games to be the thing to do that. And so at teenage years, I started to develop some ideas of how to play games to connect. And we did that throughout our blended family. And then I wrote a curriculum at that time, 'cause that was my story, was going through a divorce. I wrote a curriculum called Divorce through the Eyes of a Teen.
They have. Everything out there for the adults and even for the little kids. But that teenage section, which is a very, very difficult, yet very important time in life to understand, relationships and, so I wrote a curriculum at that time, and that is really what got me into it because as the curriculum went out there and it was being taught and led nationwide, I wanted to add some other things to it that would [00:09:00] help the curriculum go smoother.
And so I started coming up. I was like literally, got awakened in the middle of the night, and laid this game idea on my heart. I got up. Put a mock game together within 24 hours, took it to my divorce care group. We sat down and we played it and. I've developed 13 additional games since then.
So, that's how it all originated. And then my story moved from divorce into grief, 14 years later when my husband passed away. And now we were dealt with, the loss of, for me, my spouse, and for the. Children's father. And so at that time I incorporated grief, loss of loved ones into it. And along with that you get depression, anxiety, and trauma and self-esteem issues and all of those things.
So I've really kind of opened it up to the whole gamut of mental health, of any kind and have incorporated multiple different games and, [00:10:00] different topics to be able to focus on in the challenges of life.
james_1_03-19-2026_125813: Wow, you've gone through a lot,
krista-smith-larson_1_03-19-2026_115814: I always told God though, that I couldn't waste the pain and this was my way to be able to turn it around and to, help others with it. So that's what God's laid on my heart, and that's what I've been focusing on doing.
james_1_03-19-2026_125813: So when, you're going through the, the divorce and you have the kids and you notice something might be going on, but it's, it's really difficult to be like, oh, how are you doing? You know, or tell me about what, you know, tell me about why you're so, why you're sad or you're not talking to me,
krista-smith-larson_1_03-19-2026_115814: the more that you prod, the more that they shut down usually.
james_1_03-19-2026_125813: types of
krista-smith-larson_1_03-19-2026_115814: the more that you prod, the more that they shut down usually. And I got really tired of the simple answers of fine or okay or whatever. I mean, I hated those terms and that was all I was getting. And so it's like I gotta go beyond that and. [00:11:00] The, most effective way I got, I came across doing that was just sitting, you know, across the table and just focusing on fun.
But yet all of my games have a twist that have to do with, finding out about themselves and me finding out about their processing as well and putting the two together. It really made sense.
james_1_03-19-2026_125813: So are these, cooperative games, question games?
krista-smith-larson_1_03-19-2026_115814: They're all mostly question games. Yep.
james_1_03-19-2026_125813: Okay. And the one that you took to your grief share, ~uh, how do you, ~how do you play it?
krista-smith-larson_1_03-19-2026_115814: So that one specific was the very first one I developed, and that one's called the Slippery Slope. And it comes in three different ages. So it has specific age related questions for each age so that it's very applicable to whatever it is that you're playing it with. And so I got a young children's version that goes up to like age seven, eight, and then I got there.
Preteen teen version. And then I have the adult [00:12:00] version. So depending on what stages they're in, you would pick, that set of questions. And that one is a board game. And, you start on, one end the beginning and you wanna go to the end. But how you play it is you got three decks of cards and one of them is feelings, questions.
One of them is action questions, and one of them is called grace cards. And you start the game with a Grace card. 'cause everybody gets God's grace. And so everybody gets one free Grace card. And then as you go along the slippery slope you get. Either you land on either a feelings question or an action question, and it's about, you know, the divorce situation.
In this particular situation, I also have the game for loss. So you can also play it if you've lost a loved one at this point. But, you have a question having to do with, you know, what would you do when or how do you feel when, something like that. And they just go along the board, they're [00:13:00] answering their questions and.
The kicker that really works out very well is these grace cards. And you can pick them up along the way, but you always get that free one in the beginning. And if they get to a question that they're uncomfortable or they just don't wanna answer, that's when they play the Grace card. So it's always an option to get out of it if they need to.
And so they have that freedom and just having that freedom gives them. The, comfortable feeling of playing and then they're trying to win the game. And so then they just keep on going.
james_1_03-19-2026_125813: yeah,
krista-smith-larson_1_03-19-2026_115814: pretty soon they don't need the grace cards 'cause they feel comfortable. But as they're playing the game, they have that opportunity and giving them that freedom is really all it takes for them to start opening up.
james_1_03-19-2026_125813: So how many questions do they have to answer to get to the other side of the board?
krista-smith-larson_1_03-19-2026_115814: Well, it all depends on the age. So the children's game there is only, I think about [00:14:00] 35 to 40 spaces. And so it's much smaller so that it's, you know, more age appropriate and they just, they roll the dice between one to three. You know, for the little ones, I would say they probably would get an average of about. Five to six questions per game. And that, for that age is really a good amount for them. When you get to the teen, there's probably about 60 to 65 spaces. And so then you, you know, roll the dice also and see how many you could get.
So that probably moves it up to 12 to 15 possible questions. And then the adult one is more, I call it the boring game because it. It doesn't have the fun cards and the fun images. It's just got these little people instead of race cars and stuff.
james_1_03-19-2026_125813: Yeah.
krista-smith-larson_1_03-19-2026_115814: But the adult one then is just much more in depth on top of it just being questions about, the healing journey.
It also deals with how to be a better [00:15:00] co-parent, and how to help your children through either the grief or the divorce. And so how to co-parent together. So, it has more also relationship building questions in with the adult one as well.
james_1_03-19-2026_125813: So do you, do you include instructions either in the game or online on like
krista-smith-larson_1_03-19-2026_115814: They're all, all the instructions are provided in the games.
james_1_03-19-2026_125813: For like the parent or the leader to
krista-smith-larson_1_03-19-2026_115814: Yep. Yep.
james_1_03-19-2026_125813: little bit because.
krista-smith-larson_1_03-19-2026_115814: Absolutely.
james_1_03-19-2026_125813: I could ask a question, but I'm sure my, my, well, he's 20 now, but he, he would, what if he's not talking or what if he go, we go deep. Like do you have advice on that packaged in the game?
krista-smith-larson_1_03-19-2026_115814: I do not have, advice like that packaged mostly because these are play therapy games and so the therapist, I feel they can take it and go the next step if it's with a family. I encourage. The parent to play with the [00:16:00] children so that they're all on the same page and they can all just be, you know, solving life together and talking about life together.
And I think that builds relationships between the family members very, very well. And it's not, you know, it's great for a parent to say, well, I don't know the right answer either. You know, how do you think we should feel? Not have it be a right or wrong, really.
james_1_03-19-2026_125813: I think that's important. When my parents let their guard down and I could see them as like regular people you know, after a certain time, I'm like, wow. They are regular people, you know, they're suffering too with some certain stuff and they're struggling with some things. When they admitted they made mistakes and got real, that was pretty powerful
krista-smith-larson_1_03-19-2026_115814: Absolutely.
james_1_03-19-2026_125813: Who, who is the ideal user of these games?
krista-smith-larson_1_03-19-2026_115814: The ideal user would probably be a therapist because they have the tools to be able to take it and use it. You know, for. [00:17:00] The whole process to help them through it. That's ideal. But like I said, that's not who I am. So I understand and I use the application and with all of my grief share, my Divorce Care people, we just use it within our families.
And that is u that just opens up doors to just vulnerabilities, honesty. So that is very good just for relationship building skills within a family. So that's a great area too. And then churches use it, if they have a children's program or family ministries that they have special nights that they're looking to be able to, you know, play some fun things with kids, but yet give them some tools.
All my games are great for family ministries and churches as well.
james_1_03-19-2026_125813: So I'm gonna ask specifically like what problems does this help solve for the therapist or the parent?
krista-smith-larson_1_03-19-2026_115814: The problems for the therapist is just to [00:18:00] allow them to be able to get. To the main issues in a much quicker way and a much safer way, and a much more enjoyable way for the kids. I mean, they could come in and not intend on sharing or try to feel like they're bottling everything up and can they be trusted and all that stuff really gets washed away when you bring out a game because then you're just two people having a conversation, playing a game, and having fun together.
You build that trust and then they're more apt to be able to go deeper with you.
james_1_03-19-2026_125813: It's disarming.
krista-smith-larson_1_03-19-2026_115814: Yep, ~absolutely.~
james_1_03-19-2026_125813: ~Uh, ~so what are some of the games you offer? How many games do you offer?
krista-smith-larson_1_03-19-2026_115814: I have 13 different games. And so the first one was the board game, and that's the only board game that I have. But then I go into, I got a tic-tac toe game, which is a relational, it's got two different sides on it. And so you talk about, feelings on one side. By different emojis. And then you flip it over and then you talk about relationships.
You got different, [00:19:00] people with moms, dads, siblings, grandparents, and by playing tic-tac toe, you talk about how you can build those relationships or your favorite memory with that person or whatever. So it's a tic-tac toe game. Very simple, very easy. I got, it's called Double Trouble. They're just a six-sided dice.
They're big woodblock dice, and they got emojis on each. Side, and then they got situations on the other block. You throw these dice down and it's like when you're with your dad, what time made you happy when you were at school, when did you feel hurt? So by rolling the dice, you have different situations with different people, and you put them together and share about that experience.
james_1_03-19-2026_125813: I'm a fan of random.
krista-smith-larson_1_03-19-2026_115814: So that's a dice game. I have an all twisted up, which is, the Vegas one. It's a floor mat, and so it's 20 by 30 and it's on the floor and it looks like the old time twister game. So it's got all. [00:20:00] The dots, but instead of just round circles, they're actually emojis and they're all the different colors.
And so they can play that a number. There's five different ways you can play that game. But it gets them up and moving.
james_1_03-19-2026_125813: Mm-hmm.
krista-smith-larson_1_03-19-2026_115814: You roll a color and they have five different emotions that they can pick from. So then you give them a choice and for them to be able to put a beanbag on it, now they're trying to get four beanbags in a row.
For them to be able to put a beanbag on it, they gotta tell you about a time when they felt that way, or a memory that they have that made them feel that way. So you're having. You're connecting their feelings with memories, which is teaching them what the feelings are, and then you talk about 'em. So there's five different games you can play with this play mat.
One of the most popular games I have, you play like Jenga, they're called for me, they're called Connects Blocks. And I've got 12 different topical blocks. So you have the Jenga blocks and there's 36. Pre-labeled general questions. So you got a base set of 36 questions.
How was your day? [00:21:00] What is your favorite color? General questions that are all safe. Anybody can feel good about that. But then I have 13 separate topical blocks that have 15 additional questions having to do with that topic. So it could be the, a divorce, it could be loss of a loved one, could be a blended family, it could be single parent living.
If you're in a foster family, foster questions, adopted questions, anxiety, depression, trauma, self-esteem. So all of these are separate, 15 blocks that you would put in with the base set, and you can mix and match if they're going through, a divorce and they're. Anxious you could put depression and divorce in there, or anxiety and divorce in there, and now you've got a game that specifically talks about those situations.
It's an amazing way to really be able to. Connect their emotions to the situation that they're going through and open up the [00:22:00] door to talk about it. And yet feel safe because you're playing Jenga and just randomly pulling out questions. That's my most popular game 'cause it has so many different applications that you can play using just this base set.
So I got another game called two by two, which is more of a memory game. ~Um, 70 optional. ~Emojis or feelings that you would match and talk about the matching emotions or different relationship people. So any kind of person that they could have in their life would be your option. You pick and choose which ones you wanna work on.
You lay them out. When they get a match, you talk about that relationship, or you talk about a time they felt that way, or you put a mixture of both, you know, one of each side, and you have them pick. One person, one real one feeling makes it, and it's, well, tell me a time when you were with your dad and you felt embarrassed.
So it's multiple ways to use the two by two. I got a Checkers game. I got a educational game, which is called Feelings. It's called [00:23:00] FaceTime, actually. Sorry about that. FaceTime and this one, you play like bingo. You got a whole different layout of a whole bunch of different feeling emojis. And then you have, chips and you pick a card and if you have the, let's say it's the, anxious card, you have a face of an angst of somebody who's feeling anxious, so you talk about what that looks like, and then you talk about what it feels like and that the whole time they're trying to get bingo on their card.
It really alleviates and teaches, them having to think much, but you're teaching them what all the different feelings look like, feel like, and attach an experience to 'em. So,
james_1_03-19-2026_125813: kid
krista-smith-larson_1_03-19-2026_115814: that's another one.
james_1_03-19-2026_125813: the words, they don't have the words to describe what's going on.
krista-smith-larson_1_03-19-2026_115814: And
james_1_03-19-2026_125813: They're just
krista-smith-larson_1_03-19-2026_115814: they hear these words all the time, but they don't know how to relate to 'em unless they can really attach an experience to 'em.
~And then it all starts to make sense.~
james_1_03-19-2026_125813: ~Hmm. That's wonderful. I love, ~I love these ideas. The dice one sounds really fun to like either start or end a session of some sort
krista-smith-larson_1_03-19-2026_115814: It's a great icebreaker to start with. It's a [00:24:00] great way to wrap it up.
james_1_03-19-2026_125813: ~Yep. Um, yeah, just my mind is going on. Alright. Uh, before we, before we, uh, before we, ~before I ask you where people can find these things, do you have a game that you look f like, what's your classic game besides the, hearts, I guess, what's your classic game that you could pull out and play?
krista-smith-larson_1_03-19-2026_115814: I, my go-to game would be the connect blocks because there are so many, many, many different applications that you can use, and it's got a way of really digging down to the core of the issue without even realizing. That's where you're at. And it's been very effective so that I can use that.
And with me dealing with a lot of divorce, dealing with a lot of grief, it just fits all my different applications.
james_1_03-19-2026_125813: So where can people find out about these games and learn more and maybe, purchase them?
krista-smith-larson_1_03-19-2026_115814: I do have a website. It is winning communications mn.com. So winning communications and men for [00:25:00] minnesota.com and you can go on there and it has a more of an explanation and pictures to go with all these games I'm trying to explain. And then there's a, you can order right there online as well.
james_1_03-19-2026_125813: ~Uh, this, this is very exciting. Um, as I, as the, uh, ~as somebody who. Loves games and also just how difficult sometimes feelings and communication, especially with kids can be, or on topics that you don't necessarily wanna talk about or that are difficult to talk about, like grief and loss. It was a wonderful resource. Krista, thank you so much for being on the show today and sharing with the audience.
krista-smith-larson_1_03-19-2026_115814: Thank you so much, James, for the opportunity.
james_1_03-19-2026_125813: Okay, listeners. Now if you need some of these resources, the, the, links will be in the show notes. And, I want you to go have some fun, but, and put your mission in motion. We'll talk to you next time,
James Marland (2): Before we end the show, I wanna thank our pro-level sponsors for helping make the Scaling Therapist podcast possible. They are Humor [00:26:00] Speaks, RevKey, The Practice Collab, Arc Integrated, Their SAS CRM, Guests Compliance Consulting LLC, Private Practice Elevation, Freedom Business Solutions, Bosco LLC, Profit Comes First, River Street Studios, Wealth and Worth Within, Therapy Flow, and of course, coursecreationstudio.com.
If your therapy practice has a bottleneck and you need getting through it, head over to scalingtherapistservices.com and you'll find businesses and resources there that can help you break through that bottleneck. Finally, one last reminder, the HIPAA Compliance Toolkit Workshop with Dr. Natasha Guess is coming up Friday, September 18th at 11:00 AM Eastern Time.
It's virtual, so you can attend if anywhere you are, and if HIPAA is one of those things that you keep meaning to get to, you keep meaning to get organized, this is a perfect way to spend the time to get it done with an [00:27:00] expert who will answer your questions. You can find the registration link in the show notes.
Thanks again to Krista Smith Larsen for joining me today. Go have some fun, have better conversations, and put your mission in motion. I'll speak to you next time
