STP 167 | Success on Paper, Trapped by the Clock
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[00:00:03] Speaker: Have you ever felt successful on paper, but when you looked at your working condition, you wondered how long you could actually keep going? Your schedule is full. Clients need you. Staff needs you. Your family needs you. And all of this really does matter. The work does matter. From the outside, people look at you and they, they think you're doing great.
[00:00:32] They actually want to be you. But inside, you're tired. You're, you're tired in such a way that a weekend does not fix it I know that feeling. Uh, there was a season in my life where people depend on me to, uh, they depended on me to run an office. I led a department, and I was there to solve all the problems and be the person who [00:01:00] had the, the one more answer, one more fix, one more way to find an hour.
[00:01:06] And in, during this time, there were some staffing shortages, so I started coming in early, and then I started coming in late, and then I started coming in two hours early to fix the office and staying two hours late to put everything back together to get it ready for the next day. And I kept telling myself, "This is what responsible people do.
[00:01:32] This is what I need to do, and I'm gonna just bear the burden." But one day, one day, a, a psychiatrist y-- got mad at me for not having something ready perfectly, that was one of those days where I had come in early, and it just, it broke me.
[00:01:55] It crushed me. After all I was doing, I still wasn't doing [00:02:00] enough. And, and I, that was the day I, I walked into a dark office, kept the lights off, just sat against the wall, slid down, and just, and just cried, cried to myself like, "When is this going to end?"
[00:02:14] That wasn't a time management problem. That was a trap of the clock. I could never do enough to meet all the needs, and the responsibilities were asking more and more of my life. I realized the, the system was asking me to keep giving more of what I didn't have. - And through that experience, I realized giving more time wasn't the answer, that the, the system was going to demand more and more and more of me and would never say no. And I was trapped in feeling that my value came when I was in the office, and I was there. And I think that's the [00:03:00] trap many therapists and helping professionals face.
[00:03:02] They feel like their only value comes when they are in the office working, but then there is a limit to how much you can give. Let's call out what the clock trap is. The clock trap is what happens when your income, your impact, and even your sense of value, who you are, your identity, get tied to the hours that you spend in the office or the next hour you can sell.
[00:03:29] And the system, the current system for therapists, is really tied to the amount of hours you have. The amount of hours is what you give to get your value Uh, this can be hard to notice because the hour itself, it's not bad. The work you're doing is very important. Sessions matter. One-on-one matters. It shows that you care.
[00:03:55] It shows that you're, you're helping people. Being with those [00:04:00] people in that time and helping them through their pain
[00:04:03] Helping them through what it, the problems of their life is important. The issue is when the hour becomes the only way that value is assessed and it's the only way that you can help people, then the hour becomes the ceiling. That's the trap. That's what keeps you chained down. One client leaves, the next one comes in.
[00:04:26] The hour ends, you submit a bill, the next hour has to be filled. And I mean, I know at first that makes sense, and it's the way things have been going for many years on how to, make an income and impact as a therapist. You trade your time, your training, and your attention for money. That's how the services work.
[00:04:48] But after a while, you run out of time. The clock stops being a tool, starts being a chain. Like when you look at the clock, you should see a warden. Y- [00:05:00] like somebody who's watching over you, because without that hour, what is your value and what are your worth? Right now you're measured by the hour, but that doesn't really measure your value. Like, the hour doesn't really ma- measure what your worth is and what you're bringing to the situation. Therefore, the real issue i- is not just your schedule.
[00:05:21] The real issue is what the schedule starts teaching you about your value. The clock can start measuring your value, which is the deeper problem. The clock can make you feel like you're only valuable when somebody is paying you for the hour. I, I think that's a dangerous lie, and you may have... You have years of training.
[00:05:45] You've had hard-earned wisdom, hard-earned experiences. You have the tools. You have your examples. You have your stories, your exercises. You've, you have your phrases and your, your go-to tips [00:06:00] and support that you've helped hundreds of people with But the, the, the, the service model of the clock says, "Can you fit all of that into 50 or 60 minutes?"
[00:06:11] And if nobody books that hour, your wisdom just sits unused, and then it spoils because if you're only paid by the hour and the hour's gone and nobody paid you for it, then what's your value? Who are you? I think that's, that's small. That, that's, that's reducing your value to only when somebody's in the room with you for that 50 to 60 minutes.
[00:06:37] Your value does not start and end when the session starts. Your wisdom does not disappear when the client leaves. How you care for people and what you do does not expire every 60 minutes. The clock was made to measure time. It was never meant to measure your value.
[00:06:58] It was never [00:07:00] meant to measure your calling the trap of the clock is hard to spot because it often looks like success. There's a false promise in a full calendar. A lot of practice growth advice says the same thing: fill your schedule, fill your calendar, get more clients, stay booked, be busy, and then you will be successful.
[00:07:25] Then you will add value. And, like, I get it. I-- That sounds good, right? Having more clients sounds good. More clients means more money. More clients means people want to hear what you're saying. There's more stability when you're having more clients and more money. And it's also proof that y-you're validated.
[00:07:50] Like, you're, you're validated and the business is working and you offer a wonderful service
[00:07:56] And that sounds good until you live a full schedule [00:08:00] and you add one more client, and every yes to one more client means no to something else in your life, and that's just how it works. I'm not... That's the trade-off. More clients might solve the money problem while it creates a life problem.
[00:08:18] Every extra appointment has to come from somewhere, and this somewhere might come from rest. It might come from dinner with the family. It might come from taking a walk outside. It may come from your spiritual life or your prayer life. It might come from the business idea or course idea that you keep putting off.
[00:08:39] It might come from the restful time or the quiet time you need but you didn't take because you need to fill that hour. A full client schedule will not fix your broken life. It will not automatically make your marriage better. It will not make your kids feel closer to you, and [00:09:00] a full schedule will not give you peace by itself.
[00:09:04] A business can look healthy while the person running it is falling apart. A full calendar really can be a blessing, but if it's costing you your life, that's something you gotta pay attention to. It's like the warning light on the car. If you're feeling that stress and strain, then there's something going on The, this is not just a business issue, this clock trap.
[00:09:32] It's really a life issue. Time is not just a business issue. This is not just about productivity. It's not just about, like, time hacks and time blocking. This is about what kind of life your work is building. And as the owner or somebody who gets to set your schedule, what are you building with your life?
[00:09:54] Uh, all we have to do is decide what to do with the time [00:10:00] that is given us. That's a quote from, uh, J.R.R. Tolkien That line hits 'cause it's not asking, "Well, how much can you fit in and how much can you do?" It's asking, "What are you doing with the time you have been given?" That also reminds me of, um, a verse in Ecclesiastes.
[00:10:24] It says something like, ~"It's, ~it's always better to go to a funeral than a party."
[00:10:29] And I was like, uh, when I first read that in college, I was like, ~"What does that, ~what does that mean?" But as I've been to more funerals, and I guess fewer parties as I get older, like, there's just something sober about realizing your time is limited. And yes, parties are fun and you need to go to parties, but the funeral teaches us something about the value of time and what we wish we would've done and living without regrets.
[00:10:57] A- and I know that sounds heavy. Like, I'm not here to [00:11:00] bring you down, but it tells the truth Uh, a party can make us forget the, the stress of the clock. A funeral can make us face it, and it reminds us that life is not a full schedule. It's something to, to take care of. Your time matters, your body matters, your family matters, and the limits and stress you put yourself under, that matters.
[00:11:29] Your value is not because you're a machine and you pump out hours and you pump out sessions. You're a person. You have great value to add, and the work God gave you to do should not require your personhood to disappear into the void of the clock A lot of people, good people disappear because they put their ladder on the wrong wall.
[00:11:58] And it's [00:12:00] always good to consider when you're building your business, is your... Is the ladder you're climbing on the wrong wall? And you can put your ladder on the wall of more clients, and you work harder, and you market more, and you build a great webpage, and you have a good intake system, and you fill up all your slots, and you raise your rates, and you have more sessions.
[00:12:24] And man, doesn't that feel like success? Uh, from the outside, somebody doing that, it feels like you're heading in the right direction and everything is great. I just want to caution you that if y- if you're building that ladder, when you get to the top, what's on the other side?
[00:12:43] Is this what you really want with your life, is that full schedule and being stressed out and worrying about, um, that, that, uh, maximizing your time? Is that the ladder you wanna climb? Is that the life you want? [00:13:00] You get the income, but you lose the margin in your life. You have the clients, but where's the space you need to think, to create, to rest, to build relationships, to build something bigger than just being paid by the hour This, this is sad to say, um, and I, and I bet, I bet you've seen this too.
[00:13:24] I'm not the only one that sees this. But I've seen strong therapists with great businesses, full schedules, multiple locations, um, group practices strong businesses and they still end up unhappy. Some, some even, uh, this kills me, but some even lose their marriages along the way, and I'm just wondering from the outside they look successful, but what happened?
[00:13:51] What, what happened? The... Now, I'm not trying to say business success is bad. Like, I, I love it when people succeed. I [00:14:00] love it when they, they're fulfilling their dreams. But if the success costs you your healthy life and your healthy relationships, there's a problem. There's a trap there a successful business and a healthy life are not the same thing.
[00:14:15] Fully booked does not mean free. Busy does not mean you're aligned with your core purpose We have to be honest with what we're trading. I'm not saying a full schedule is bad, but be careful what you trade your hours for.
[00:14:30] One of the business leaders of the past, Peter Drucker, said, "Time is the scarcest resource, and unless it's managed, nothing else can be managed." That's true in business, but that's also true in your soul. Like, that's true in your life. If you lose control of your time, you lose control of what you pay attention to, then you lose your energy.
[00:14:51] Your energy is given to something that if you were making better decisions, you wouldn't give it to that. And then when your energy [00:15:00] goes, other things fall off the margin. Maybe it's your rest and relaxation. Maybe it's what makes you happy, your habits, your hobbies, and, um, things that you explore.
[00:15:12] Maybe it's your family that drops off. Then it's your ability to do anything new, and you're kinda locked into this system that traps you Jim Rome said time is more valuable than money. You can get more money, but you cannot get more time
[00:15:29] Time is the trap, and that's the part of the service model for therapists that, that's often hidden Another client will bring more money, and that is good, but that... You're trading an hour for that. And that hour may be the hour you need for your health. That hour might be the hour you need for your spouse or your kids, your spiritual life, what feeds your soul, the helping you do in the community
[00:15:57] Be careful what you hand your hours [00:16:00] to because eventually your hours become your life
[00:16:03] The clock is a very useful tool. It really helps, and it helps you track what you're doing and measure what matters. But it also can stop being your friend. At some point, if you let it, the clock starts running the room It tells you when to start. It tells you when to stop. It tells you when the next person is coming.
[00:16:30] It tells you when you can eat. It tells you when you're behind. It tells you when the hour is over
[00:16:36] The clock can measure all these things, but it can't measure what you're worth. It can't measure the impact you're making. It can't measure the value of your wisdom and your support means to those people. Your work might happen inside the hour, but you may have more to give than you can fit inside those one-hour blocks
[00:16:59] Some people might [00:17:00] say, ~"So, ~so what is the answer, James? Are you telling me to stop caring? Are you telling me not to be compassionate for those people who are coming to the office?" And I, I would say no. It-- the answer is not to be less present or stop caring or stop being committed. That's not what I mean.
[00:17:17] The answer is to stop making your whole mission depend on the clock, to depend on when you're available
[00:17:25] What I'm trying to say is there might be different alternatives to helping people that don't depend on the hour-by-hour filling of your schedule. with your wisdom and your knowledge, you could run a workshop. That doesn't replace the therapy room, but it can replace how you package your wisdom.
[00:17:43] You could do paid public speaking. You could do, workshops for businesses or colleges or schools. You could make a course. You could make a podcast. Those are some of the things that people can access even when you're not in the room, [00:18:00] or you're impacting multiple people, tens or maybe even hundreds of people at the same time, and you're maximizing your hour.
[00:18:09] These new tools can carry some of the weight. They can help people before or after they have a session with you. They can answer questions you repeat all the time. They can prepare people for deeper work, or they can support people as they transition out of therapy or between sessions. They can be helping people even when you're not there sitting across from them spending your hour.
[00:18:35] Here's the question I want you to sit with for the next week. Is your calendar supporting your mission, or has your mission trapped you inside your calendar? Are you trapped by that clock? You may not need to leave the work you love. You just might need a better structure around it. If the only way to earn more is to work more, then that clock is not [00:19:00] a freedom.
[00:19:01] It's a chain. It's a trap I want you to remember what you do matters. Your sessions matter, the one-on-one relationships matter, the therapy that you give matters. But measuring your value by hour by hour is slowly chipping away at you
[00:19:19] My challenge for you this week is just to start noticing the warning signs. Where are you feeling the stress and the pinch? What happens when somebody calls and they ask you to fit in one more s- one more schedule? Do you believe that your ladder is on the right wall, like the, the ladder of climbing to maximizing as many clients as you can?
[00:19:43] Or is there a different place that you could put your wall, your ladder against and climb that? How's your family relationships? If you're successful in business but your family falls apart, is that, is that the success you want? Really want you to consider, are, is your [00:20:00] life helped by the clock, or do you feel like it is that warden that tells you when you're good and when you're bad and traps you inside that prison of, of false success?
[00:20:12] you wanna talk about these things, I have a community on the, uh, community group in... You can just go to coursecreationstudio.com/store or /library if you're already a part of the community, and, have a conversation about the, the clock and ways you're finding margin in your life or ways you've noticed some of the warning signs.
[00:20:35] I'd be happy to talk to you about that inside the community. And, uh, yeah, ~it's, it's now time to start building a life that supports you~
[00:20:40] ~It's now time to build a life that gives you margin, supports you, and is a life ~It's now time to build a business and build a life that supports you and has, and has margin. We'll see you next time Before we close, I wanna say thank you to the businesses and partners who support this show and the mission behind it. I wanna say thank you [00:21:00] to Humor Speaks, RevKey, The Practice Co-Lab, Arc Integrated, TheraSaaS CRM, Guest Compliance and Consulting LLC, who just released a new book, Freedom Business Solutions, Bosco LLC, and Profit Comes First.
[00:21:16] Each of these businesses serves therapists, practice owners, and helping professionals, and they are helping them in their own way. And I'm, I'm just grateful for their support and able to, uh, share them with you. If you wanna find more about these businesses, you can find them at scalingtherapistservices.com they're on the services directory.
[00:21:37] You will find therapists and businesses and other helping professionals to make your work more sustainable, more aligned, and to give you more margin in your life. So to our partners, I say thank you for making this all possible, and to everyone listening, I want you to stop and think, "Is my work supporting my life or slowly taking it over?
[00:21:59] Am [00:22:00] I helped by the clock or trapped by it?" Thanks for listening. We'll definitely see you next time
